the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
