p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
