before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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