There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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