About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
