JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
