Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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