Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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