Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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