On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
