So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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