and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You ate ashes out of my bong
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
