Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
