the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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