Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
