I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
