No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
