yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
