Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i was born a porn star she said
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
