Someone shit on the floor
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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