Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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