It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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