508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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