your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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