just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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