So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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