My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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