i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is wine microwaveable?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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