Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
