Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize