I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
