Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
