You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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