How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
