This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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