So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
