i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
