I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
