false alarm. still invincible.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
