he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
