There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
