your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
