I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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