Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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