We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Operation Purity has been aborted
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
