So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just high enough for therapy.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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