I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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