Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
