I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
