Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
