why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
