you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
