We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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