Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
