weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
