Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
