bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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